How Can We Help You?

v-2victimantwerp1944

Some of the advantages of choosing Mossack Fonseca as Registered Agent include:

  • Reduced costs and increased response times
  • We can incorporate and manage Private Interest Foundations
  • Our offices are supported by secure, state-of-the-art technology that is upgraded continually
  • Our clients have web-based access to all the services contracted with Mossack Fonseca, being able to follow up on requests and check on the status of their accounts and payments.
  • The strategic location of our offices in key world business capitals allows Mossack Fonseca to constantly meet and exceed our clients’ expectations.
  • Companies can conduct business in any country and carry out transactions in any chosen currency.
  • We offer jurisdictions that are tax exempt regarding any commercial activity or operation carried out outside its jurisdiction.

And we offer theft.

For real. Theft on an industrial scale. Theft like nothing you could ever imagine. We’ll help you suck their countries dry, like the dust tilled by the rural poor on their subsistence farms.

Destroying lives will be even more simple and convenient for you. We’ll help you appropriate and organise the funds you need for your war. With our efficient and state-of-the-art operation, you can get those barrel bombs over cities and towns faster than the feet of the little, broken children can run.

We’ll provide convenient discretion and professionalism about the proceeds of your trafficking operation. We’ll have the money earned in  from those cellar girls out of Belarus flowing into your accounts in no time. Or we can provide services that help you manage payroll accounts for your sicarios and the death squads. Men with guns need to be paid on time, no questions asked. We understand that.

Our services also support and assist in handling any number of political problems. We can help your brother-in-law stay in control of the government of your country. You don’t have to fear the will of the rabble. The riot gear on your personal bodyguard will be state of the art. We’ll help you pay to listen to their phone calls. We’ll help you fund the prison camps.

But most of all, our clients can rest secure knowing that we’ll make sure you don’t have to do your bit. We’ll keep your money to yourself. Why should you pay just because regular people do? What have taxes ever done for you (except schools, health care, police, fire safety, disaster relief, roads, internet access, elder care, social services, defense, courts, and all that)?

These are just some of the advantages of choosing us. Or indeed, any of the many other companies that offer these services. This whole ecology of robbers, this economy of theft.

We offer a convenient, calming relief for you, a place away from all of that. A haven for values. A respite from having to respect and value other people and their work.

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